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For anyone (like me) who struggles with negative body image on a regular basis, postpartum poses a particular challenge to us. The changes that happen to our bodies during pregnancy and postpartum amplify body image issues—like having negative body image on steroids!
One study conducted in 2018 assessed the attitude of women regarding body image during pregnancy and postpartum and found that 63.3% had a negative attitude regarding their body image (Kauer, Sagar, & Mamta, 2018).
Another study done in 2009 found that a mothers’ body satisfaction significantly worsened from 1 to 9 months postpartum (Gjerdingen et al., (2009).
Also, according to the Office on Women’s Health, “after giving birth, your body may take a while to get back to the way it was before, or it may never completely return to the way it looked before pregnancy.”
Encouraging right? Definitely NOT. But clearly negative body image postpartum is overwhelmingly normal and really a chronic problem. Negative body image is a thief of our joy. It makes us feel dissatisfied, ashamed, not good enough, and, well, just plain old yucky. Those are horrible things to feel at any time, but especially while trying to care for another tiny human (or multiple tiny humans).
So what can we as mothers do to combat and overcome our negative body image? Is anyone else determined like me to NOT succumb to it? I am currently in my fourth postpartum period (6 weeks postpartum in this moment), and I’d like to share 5 ways that can help us to improve our body image and thereby take back our joy!
1. Don’t compare yourself to others
Have any friends or family members that recently had a baby too? How about any celebrities or “friends” on social media? Please don’t compare yourself to them!!! Resist the urge to assess how their bodies are looking postpartum. It will just make you feel worse if they happen to be physically “bouncing back” quicker than you are.
Remind yourself that every body changes during pregnancy differently, and everyone’s bodies postpartum recover at their own rates. Your body changes and body recovery are entirely unique to you and will absolutely not be the same as Susie Q’s or Sally Jane’s whose bodies have seemed to go back to normal overnight. Please try not to compare yourself mama.
2. Buy new clothes
If ever you needed an excuse to buy yourself some new clothes, this is it!! No but really this is not an excuse—it is an absolute necessity! Wearing clothes that fit us comfortably and that we feel confident in make a HUGE difference in how we perceive ourselves.
Wearing pants that are too tight or tops you have to squeeze on are of course going to make you feel terrible about yourself! Do yourself a big favor and GO SHOPPING. Buy bigger sizes if you need to and don’t feel bad about it. Focus on feeling comfortable and cute while you’re at it.
I’ve shared in other posts about my all-time favorite postpartum leggings. I have at least 6 pairs and basically live in them postpartum because they are so incredibly comfortable, nicely high waisted to fit over my postpartum pooch, and are attractive-looking (my husband approves).
I would definitely recommend either sneaking out to a few stores or have some fun with online shopping to ensure that you have a wardrobe that promotes a positive self-image.
3. Don’t body check or weigh yourself
I know this one is hard, but it’s so important. We need to resist the scrutinization of our bodies ladies! When you’re getting in and out of the shower DO NOT check yourself out in the mirror. What good is that going to do? Seeing our stretch marks, love handles, and loose bellies is not going to make them go away… it’s just going to make us feel terrible about ourselves.
Same goes for weighing ourselves. Does it really matter what the number on the scale is? That number does not define you. That number ultimately means NOTHING.
Every time we weigh ourselves or body check it cognitively reinforces that our weight and the appearance of our bodies are important. Which they’re not.
We need to re-program our minds to not prioritize those thoughts and not be preoccupied by them. So just don’t do it mama!
4. Invest in aspects of your appearance that are NOT body related
What I mean by this is take the time to do your makeup, your hair, your nails, anything that does not have to do with your body size.
(Disclaimer: this does not apply to mamas who are less than AT LEAST 1 month postpartum. The first month postpartum is pure survival and I did literally NOTHING appearance focused for at least a month during all my postpartum periods, and that is just fine!)
But once you get past that 1-month postpartum period and you’re starting to feel SLIGHTLY human again, try putting a bit of effort into your non-body appearance.
I have found this to be so hugely helpful in how I feel about myself overall. I actually discovered (from a friend’s recommendation) heatless curling rod headbands when I was only a couple weeks postpartum with my third baby and started using mine at 3 weeks postpartum because they are SO easy to use.
I can have my entire head curled with beautiful curls that look like the result of a curling iron from 5 minutes of effort it is AMAZING. I am so obsessed with these glorious inventions. Using my heatless curling rod headband makes me feel glamorous even when I’m just hanging around the house all day with the kids.
Finding the time to do your makeup in the morning greatly helps too. I am in the habit now of doing my make up in the morning while my 6-week-old son is happy in the front pack. That way I’m not interrupted or made to feel guilty by a screaming baby who wants his mama.
And really ladies a quick 5 minutes is all it takes to get on a foundational amount of makeup for any mama.
I personally haven’t gotten in to doing my nails quite yet, but it’s definitely on my list to start.
So these are just a few examples of how we can invest in our appearances in a positive way without reinforcing an irrational amount of focus on how our bodies look.
5. Give yourself time
You’ve probably heard it said “it takes 9 months for your body to fully change during pregnancy, it will take that long for it to recover after pregnancy too.” Remind yourself that really this is true.
Our bodies go through SO much change, demand, and, um, stretching during pregnancy that of course our bodies are not going to just snap back into place in a couple weeks or months. It’s going to take TIME. So give yourself time.
Our bodies really are pretty resilient for the most part; it’s amazing that our bodies are able to resume any kind of pre-pregnancy shape really! So just try not to rush your body’s recovery and remember that each day that passes you’re one day farther from giving birth and one day closer to the resumption of your pre-pregnancy self.
Concluding Thoughts
Well I was preaching to myself while I wrote this and I found it helpful, so I sure hope you found it helpful too! And if anything, I hope it helps you to know that you’re definitely not alone in dealing with negative body image postpartum.
Let’s keep encouraging ourselves and each other. Our bodies are freaking AMAZING. They have grown and birthed tiny humans. Let’s try our best to honor our bodies, in any shape and size, rather than criticize them.
References
Gjerdingen, D., Fontaine, P., Crow, S., McGovern, P., Center, B., & Miner, M. (2009). Predictors of mothers’ postpartum body dissatisfaction. Women & health, 49(6), 491–504. https://doi.org/10.1080/03630240903423998
Kaur, A., Sagar, N., & Mamta. (2018). Assess the Attitude of Women Regarding Body Image during Pregnancy and Post Partum Period . International Journal of Health Sciences and Research, 8(3), 193–198.
Pregnancy and body image (2021). Office on Women’s Heath. https://www.womenshealth.gov/mental-health/body-image-and-mental-health/pregnancy-and-body-image
