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Let’s face it, I think most women would agree that the worst part about having a baby is dealing with postpartum. Pregnancy, labor, and childbirth sure aren’t walks in the park, but I definitely think that postpartum takes the cake for being the most challenging – especially if it’s not your first baby.
As I write this, I am 21 days postpartum with my third full-term baby. I have found my postpartum periods to get progressively more challenging with each baby I’ve had. I think probably the biggest reason for this is that when you have other children to care for in addition to your brand new baby, there is essentially ZERO time to take care of yourself.
I look at moms who are having their first baby… and I call it “first baby bliss.” Not to minimize the challenges of postpartum to first-time moms, but let’s be real ladies, when you’re bringing home your second or third (or more) baby, postpartum becomes an entirely new animal.
Not only are you caring for a newborn while trying to recover physically and emotionally from the birth of your baby, but you are also having to still care for your older child(ren) AND adjust to the new demands of your growing family.
This time around dealing with postpartum, I have had to be a lot more strategic in order to survive this period, and I’d like to share some of the things I’ve found to be enormously helpful when dealing with postpartum when it’s not your first child and your other child(ren) are under 5.
1. Baby Wearing
Remember when it was your first baby and you could lounge on the couch for most of the day holding your newborn? Yeah that luxury is completely gone when it’s not your first and your other child(ren) are under 5. SO, the best solution I’ve found that enables you to still maintain that skin-to-skin and essential snuggle time with your newborn while not entirely neglecting your other children is BABY WEARING. Getting a good quality and comfortable front pack or baby wrap is completely worth it to make this happen.
The most comfortable, versatile, and high-quality baby carrier I’ve found is the Ergobaby. It is comfortable and supportive enough to wear for hours during the day with baby safely snuggled inside without hurting my back. It is a little pricier than some of the other baby carriers out there, but I have one of the cheaper baby carriers as well and it is definitely not nearly as comfortable for around-the-house day-to-day use. The other thing I love about the Ergobaby is that you can buy a rain cover and/or winter cover that makes going outside with baby in un-ideal weather possible.
The Boba baby wrap carrier and the baby ktan wrap are 2 fabric wraps that a lot of moms swear by especially when baby is itty bitty. Once you get the hang of how to wrap them, these wraps are awesome but they definitely take some practice. It’s really not a bad idea to invest in a good baby carrier like the Ergo in addition to one of these fabric baby wraps to see which you like best.
2. Use nursing/feeding times to engage purposely with your other children
Nursing/feeding time can be one of the best times to simultaneously spend time with your other children if you are intentional about it. Snuggle up on the couch together and read books or do stickers together! Investing in some new books/sticker books to pull out after you’ve had your baby is key. Engaging your older children during this time through reading and sticker play while feeding your newborn is some of the best multitasking you’ll ever do, and it will make your mama heart oh so happy.
Some of my favorite (well my kids’ favorites really) I’ve listed below in addition to a few book ideas. I hope your kids will love these as much as mine do!
1000 Stickers: Pocket-Sized (Sticker Activity Fun)
First 100 Stickers: Animals: Over 500 Stickers
Richard Scarry’s Cars and Trucks and Things That Go
Jumbo Book of Hidden Pictures: Jumbo Activity Book, 200+ Seek-and-Find Puzzles
Dr. Seuss’s Beginner Book Boxed Set Collection
3. Invest in comfy clothes
Let’s be real, this is an important tip for any and every postpartum period, but ESPECIALLY when you’re dealing with postpartum while having other kids to take care of. Why? Because you have to do a lot more moving, bending, and lifting when you have other kids compared to when you’re solely taking care of a newborn. Imagine crawling around the floor picking up toys while wearing leggings that are too tight and don’t fit over your postpartum belly…. YUCK. The best thing you can do for yourself is make sure you have comfortable clothes that fit your postpartum body.
Don’t try wearing your pre-pregnancy clothes, it will be depressing and uncomfortable! My favorite postpartum leggings are these. I have no joke 6 pairs because they are so inexpensive and SO comfortable. They have a ton of stretch to them so bending, crawling, and lifting are no problem, and they are high-waisted enough to pull up over my loosey-goosey postpartum belly to make me feel a little bit more secure and put together. My other favorite postpartum clothing essentials: zipper up sweatshirts and LOTS of nursing tanks which both provide easy access to the milk-makers.
4. Involve your other children in taking care of your newborn
The specific ways you can involve your children in this are age-dependent, but there are plenty of ways that you can find to involve them in baby-caring which provides another way to be purposely spending time with them AND your newborn, encourages them to take an interest in their new brother or sister, and teaches them how to be caring, gentle, and helpful. Bath time, diaper changes, dressing, and tummy time can all serve the dual purposes of caring for your newborn and investing in your other kids.
5. Give yourself grace
Bringing home a new baby when you already have other kids is hard. Dealing with all of the physical and emotional aspects of postpartum is hard. It’s not just okay to feel like a mess for a while, it’s expected!
Things may feel overwhelming for a while. You may feel like you’re not doing a good job. Remind yourself that things WILL get better. You will learn how to mom your growing family well; it just is going to take some time to figure it out and that’s okay!
I promise you WILL feel like yourself again, it just may take a few weeks or months. Try not to let it discourage you, and try as best you can to enjoy this sweet time with your newborn while doing your best to care for your other children. Give yourself grace mama. You got this!
