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Let’s be honest—sometimes when our kids are wanting or needing something from us when we’re trying to get something done or we’re hoping for a momming-break, it feels pretty, well, inconvenient. Like when we’re trying to prep for dinner and someone is wanting help with their homework. Or when it’s bedtime and we’ve tucked them in and said goodnight, but they’re insisting on one last bedtime story or snuggle.
It’s simply a fact that our kids’ wants and needs feel bothersome to us at times.
And really—for as much as we give and give of ourselves as mamas day in and day out, is it too much to ask for our kids to just leave us alone sometimes?
That mentality, my mama friend, is exactly what the Lord has been convicting me about lately.
It all started several weeks ago when my 6-year-old daughter started wanting to “snuggle” with me before I left her room at bedtime. Now, I don’t know about you, but my kids’ bedtime is the absolute hardest part of the day for me because I am so absolutely fried by then. After giving what feels like my all, all day long, I am often running on fumes to make it to the day’s finish line, AKA my kids’ bedtime.
So when my daughter started requesting extra nighttime snuggles when I am “supposed to be done momming for the day,” I at first felt not too enthusiastic about it… okay I’ll be honest: I felt straight up annoyed by it.
That is, until I felt the gentle yet undeniable conviction of the Holy Spirit.
I felt the Lord challenge me to begin seeing interruptions like these from my kids not as inconveniences, but rather as opportunities. Ephesians 5:15-17 tells us, “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.”
Our children are not here to make us happy, make us look good, meet our needs, or fill our cups. Sure, they do those things sometimes, but so much more importantly, they are here because they have been loaned to us, gifted to us by God, and it is our responsibility to steward these little lives with excellence and self-sacrificial love.
I love this quote that says, “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.”
With all this in mind, how could I not view this nighttime “inconvenience” as an invaluable opportunity to 1) grow closer in my relationship with my daughter, 2) invest in her spiritual growth, 3) meet the need for connection that she is seeking, 4) sacrifice more of myself for her good, and 5) show her that she matters to me, even when I’m tired and running on empty?
It hasn’t necessarily been easy, because even as I try to train myself to view it as an “opportunity not an inconvenience,” I am still just so tired…
But let me tell you, it has been so incredibly worth it.
Our nighttime snuggle routine now includes singing three of my favorite kids worship songs that I remember from when I was younger (Jesus, Lover of my Soul; Trading my Sorrows; and Lord I Lift Your Name on High), telling her stories about my childhood, talking about God, and asking her questions about school and things going on in her life. It is precious, and it is priceless.
This one “interruption” in my nighttime agenda has become one of the most significant opportunities I have with my daughter to really sow in to her and our relationship, and to, maybe most importantly, continue pointing her to Jesus.
I recently finished reading the book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer, which I highly recommend by the way. And everything he talks about in that book has just reinforced this conviction more and more. In it he writes, “Hurry is a form of violence to the soul.”
If you think that’s a dramatic assertion, think again.
If I were to continue hurrying away things like my kids’ bedtime routines, I would truly be damaging the relationship with them I could have if only I would just take the time to slow down.
It costs really only a few minutes and a little bit of me, but the reward far outweighs that cost.
So will you join with me in this pursuit? Will you begin to change your perspective as your kids come to you for things “inconveniently” and strive to view those times as divine opportunities to sow into them as the Lord leads you?
It’ll be hard sometimes I know, but after the fact, it won’t ever be something we regret.
